A Stranger
by oldmule
Summary: Sometimes it takes a stranger to see the obvious.
1. Chapter 1

**Set somewhere in the midst of Series 9. Feeling somewhat uninspired but hopefully this is not too dull and will probably only be a couple of chapters.

* * *

**

"Come this way. Don't worry, it's not as formidable as you think."

She followed Ruth. Whatever she said, this place did seem pretty formidable.

As they walked down a corridor a man walked towards them, he had an air of authority. He looked at the stranger.

"Harry, this is Jess, she's a witness to the Croyden bombing."

"Thank you for coming in," he said with a warm smile, "and don't worry, we don't bite." And with that he left.

She walked on with Ruth and they entered a room filled with computers.

"Who was that?" asked Jess.

"That's our boss," said Ruth.

"He's nice," said Jess and her eyes still lingered in the direction that Harry had gone.

Ruth glanced and carried on, "I'm going to throw up a series of photographs for you to look through."

"Okay."

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Tea, please. Don't suppose you've got any peppermint?" asked Jess.

Ruth smiled, she did, it was a favourite of hers.

And then Jess was alone with a sea of photographs on the screen before her.

Two hours later and she felt like she was going crosseyed.

Harry walked by the open doorway and paused, seeing her.

"Hi, how's it going?"

"Well, I'm beginning to think that I've seen so many faces that if I were to see my own family on here I wouldn't recognise them."

He laughed and his face was soft and welcoming.

"I'm sure it seems like that but trust me, eventually there will be a face that makes a difference, one that you react to, one that may make your blood run cold."

"Oh, Piers Morgan's on your database then?" Jess smiled.

Harry laughed, "Not yet, but give it time. More tea?" he asked.

"I'm fine, but thanks for asking."

He smiled and turned away.

He was nice. There was something about him, something she couldn't put her finger on but whatever it was, it was very attractive.

"How's it going?" asked Ruth. Another hour had passed.

"It's going," said Jess with a sigh.

"Nothing yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Anything else I can get you?"

"You mean apart from the phone number of your boss?" Jess grinned but it was short lived.

Ruth smiled weakly.

"Sorry," said Jess, "I was just joking. Mind you, there is something quite sexy about him."

Ruth looked away, "I'll leave you to it then."

And with that she was gone. Jess resumed her trawl through the photographs, hoping that Harry would pass by once again.

Eventually he did.

"Piers Morgan turned up yet?" he asked, with a wry smile.

"No, plenty of likely looking lads but not him."

"I know it's a slog," he said, "but it really is a critical job you're doing for us."

"It's no problem," Jess replied, she thought she would be quite happy to stay as long as he was around.

"I hope you didn't have too much to do today."

"No, just work, life and bills to sort."

He smiled that endearing smile that she felt she could get lost in, as Ruth came back into the room. Harry watched her as she crossed to the computer in front of Jess, his eyes lingering on her. Jess glanced at Ruth and knew that even though she wasn't looking at Harry she was well aware of him.

"I know it's getting late, but we would appreciate it if you were to stay on and keep trawling through the pictures," he said.

"No problem," said Jess.

Harry smiled once more.

"Ruth, when you've finished I need to see you."

"Okay," she said and glanced at him. Her eyes lingered for the briefest of moments and then she turned away.

And suddenly it became very obvious.

"I'm really sorry," said Jess, as soon as he had gone, "I didn't mean anything before, I hope I didn't upset you, I just didn't realise that you were together."

"Together?" repeated Ruth.

"Yes, you and Harry. He's nice. You're lucky."

"We're not together," said Ruth, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Are you sure?" said Jess, confused.

"I'm sure," and Ruth turned away, "call me if you find anything."

Then she was gone. Jess knew she had seen something, certainly sensed something and she was not usually wrong.

Ruth was unnerved. How had a woman who had not met her or Harry before and had barley spoken to them since meeting them, how had she come to the conclusion that they were together? If she could see something, then surely the rest of the office, let alone Thames House could see it.

She slid open the door to Harry's office.

"She seems nice. And willing," said Harry.

"Yes," said Ruth, somewhat warily.

"She thinks you're very nice too," she added.

"Well, she's obviously a woman of good taste, Ruth," he said.

"Told me she found you sexy," ventured Ruth, as soon as the words were out of her mouth she wondered why she had said it.

Harry had the good grace to look slightly bashful.

"Did she?"

"Yes."

"And what would you say, Ruth?"

"She doesn't work with you."

"And if she did, she wouldn't think that, is that what you're saying?"

"I'm not saying anything."

"I wish you would."

"What did you want Harry?" said Ruth wishing she had never started this conversation.

"I need your intel on the groups we believe might be behind Croyden?"

"I'll get it," she said, "though hopefully if Jess can identify someone then I can narrow the search significantly."

"Well, I'll go and check on her," said Harry, he couldn't fail to notice Ruth's eyes dart up to his as he said it, "and weave my 'sexiest' magic. Maybe it'll work on _her_."

Ruth turned away.

Harry watched her go, wishing he could have elicited some reaction from her, but no.

"Hi," said Harry.

"Hi," said Jess.

He came in and sat down next to her. She felt acutely aware of his presence and yet no matter what denials Ruth had made, she felt that there was only one woman for him and unfortunately it wasn't Jess.

"Still nothing?"

"No. Is it important that I try and identify someone tonight?"

"Yes, the sooner the better."

"Will you be working all night?" she asked.

"No doubt," he said.

"Still, that can't be too bad, I'm sure it must be easier when you have Ruth to work with. She's lovely."

"Yes, she is," his face gave little away.

"Have you been in love with her long?"

Harry looked at her, his mouth slightly agape.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you," added Jess.

"You didn't," said Harry.

"So?"

"So."

"So, how long?" she persisted.

"Too long," he muttered, wondering how on earth they were discussing this.

"She loves you."

He laughed a sad laugh.

"Maybe you need to tell her that."

"I'm meant to be identifying terrorists not sorting out your love life."

Harry smiled, "this wasn't the conversation I was expecting," he said.

"I'm sorry, I should learn to keep my mouth shut, it's none of my business. Forgive me."

He said nothing but gazed at her, his eyes searching her face for something.

"What?" asked Jess, nervously.

"How can you see all this?"

"See, what, you and Ruth?"

He nodded.

"You don't need to be Einstein."

He said nothing but his eyes drifted away.

"I wish you were right," he murmured.

"I am, Harry. I may be crap at identifying photos but I know people and I know Ruth feels a lot more for you than she's willing to admit."

Harry looked deeply sceptical.

"I'll prove it," she stated simply, "but I'll try and find these lunatics first," and her attention went back to the screen, "however long it takes.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ruth," Jess peered around the doorway, calling across the grid.

Ruth crossed over to her.

"I've found them," said Jess.

"Good, show me."

They returned to the screen and Jess scrolled through several pages, pointing out faces. Every time Ruth thought she had finished there was another, six in total.

"You sure?" asked Ruth.

"Positive."

"I can't tell you what a great help this is, Jess, I don't know how we can thank you."

"I could think of something, if your boss is willing," replied Jess grinning.

Ruth said nothing.

"Seeing as there's nothing between the two of you, like you said, that's right isn't it, Ruth?"

"Yes, that's right," said Ruth straight faced.

"Do you think he'd be willing?" pressed Jess.

"Is he not a little old for you?" she said, looking at the young woman.

"I like older men."

"He's very private," added Ruth.

"That's okay. Makes him more interesting and I get the feeling that there's an awful lot more to him than meets the eye."

"Yes, there is."

"And I reckon given half the chance he's a very passionate man, don't you think?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Well, I'd like to find out." Jess smiled and reached for her coat, "so, do you need me for anything else, Ruth."

"No, no, You've been a great help," said Ruth getting up, wanting Jess to leave now.

"Success?" Harry stood in the doorway.

"Yes, six identified," said Ruth, "Jess, is just going."

"That's a tremendous help, Jess, thank you for your time, I really appreciate it," Harry smiled warmly.

"May I have a word with you?" asked Jess quietly. It was clear she meant in private.

Harry looked at Ruth, "Would you get started, Ruth."

"Of course," she said and made for the door. Harry turned his attention to Jess, "Please, come into my office."

"Thanks," she replied brightly and followed him.

Ruth returned to her desk well aware that Harry was sliding shut the door of his office.

She was well aware that Jess was smiling. She was well aware that she was standing uncomfortably close to Harry and she was well aware that both of them seemed far from uncomfortable with that closeness.

"I'm not sure this a good idea," said Harry.

"How are you with trust, Harry?"

"Limited."

"Well don't be. Trust me."

"I don't know you."

"No, you don't. I could be a mad woman, but I'm not. Ruth's more fitting of that category."

Harry opened his mouth to defend her but Jess ploughed on.

"I bet you've looked at no one else in all the time she's been here, have you?"

"No," he said defensively.

"Well, that's part of the problem."

Harry wondered how that could be a problem.

"She's stopped seeing you for what you are. She loves you but she needs reminding, she needs to see you as an attractive man that women would want."

Harry looked slightly nervous.

"I'm not sure they do," he said.

Jess put her hand on his chest and stepped even closer.

"Trust me Harry, they do."

Harry looked more nervous.

"Smile at me, please."

He smiled.

"Harry, she knows you and she's watching. Smile the way you'd smile at her, given half the chance."

His face changed, his eyes changed, his mouth changed and Jess wished the smile was for her and not Ruth.

"Good," she said as the blood rose to her face.

She held his look for as long as she could manage without getting totally lost in the gentleness of his eyes and then she turned to his desk and wrote something on a post it note. She turned back to him and placed the post it on his chest, her hand lingering there.

"My number, not that I expect you to call it."

He nodded.

"Now I'm going to go. I guess I'll never meet you again, Harry what ever your surname is, but I hope you're happy and I think Ruth is a very fortunate woman."

She reached up, kissing him gently, somewhere between cheek and lips and then turned to the door. He followed.

"Dimitri, would you see that Jess gets home."

Dimitri nodded and grabbed his coat.

"Bye," said Harry.

"See you soon," said Jess and smiled, waving at Ruth before stepping into the pods.

Ruth had to concentrate on the men Jess had identified, she was finding it difficult, but it was important.

They came from two separate cells, both with different affiliations. It was highly unusual. She took the information to Harry, who immediately called in Beth, Lucas and Tariq. The decision was not to apprehend but to put them under immediate surveillance and discover the reason for their combined action. As the team began to file out of his office Ruth delayed.

"Ruth?"

"It's fortunate we had such a good witness," she said.

"Yes, indeed," said Harry, getting up.

"She was very confident...for someone quite young."

"Not that young, Ruth, surely."

"Youngish."

"Compared to what?"

She wanted to say the obvious, she wanted to say compared to you, but she stopped herself.

"Pretty though," said Harry.

"Yes, pretty." And at that moment she looked down and saw the post it note inscribed with a phone number, it was lying on his desk.

"She thought we were together," she said quietly, her eyes lingering on the note still.

"Did she?" he prompted.

"Yes."

"And what did you say, Ruth?"

"I told her we weren't."

"We aren't."

"No."

For a moment neither spoke.

"She likes you," she eventually said.

"I know."

"She thinks you're nice."

"What happened to sexy?"

"Yes, that too," she corrected.

"She hinted the same to me," he said, perching on the edge of his desk.

Ruth dared to glance at him.

"She said quite a few things."

He left the thought hanging there. Hoping she would take the bait. She didn't. Instead she turned from the room and slid the door closed behind her. She was concentrating hard as she did so. Concentrating on not crying.


	3. Chapter 3

**So much for only a couple of chapters! I'm a liar! Sorry.

* * *

**

Harry sat in his office and wondered what had made him think that some woman he had never met could have possibly had any effect upon his relationship with Ruth. But she had been so certain. She had recognised his feelings almost immediately.

And she had said that Ruth loved him.

That was the answer in itself.

He just wanted Ruth to love him.

She sat at her desk. It was one thing for her to refuse him but it was another for someone else to want him.

Someone young and pretty.

Someone younger and prettier.

She'd told him they were more together here, working as they did with that closeness that was always there, unspoken. But she had known as she watched his face that it wasn't enough for him. It wasn't what he wanted to hear. She wasn't offering what he needed. Jess was.

Harry sighed.

Ruth picked up the phone.

She had spent a lifetime retaining information and a telephone number was easy.

She dialled.

"Hi," said a cheery voice.

"Jess?"

"Yes."

"It's… Ruth….from Thames House."

"Oh, hello, Ruth. Is there a problem?"

"No…no, not really."

"Have you found them yet?"

"Yes, yes, thank you..again."

"So what can I do for you, Ruth?"

"It's…just…well…"

"Spit it out, I'm sure it won't be a problem whatever it is."

"It's Harry."

"Is he okay?"

"Yes."

"Oh, good."

"….And?"

"He's…too old for you," blurted Ruth.

"I told you Ruth, I like older men and there's something about him. He's a contradiction, a gentle man doing a job, that I can only guess, requires him to be ruthless. Sorry, Ruth, no pun intended."

Ruth didn't laugh.

"Ruth?"

"Yes, sorry, I was just thinking about what you said."

"Am I right?"

"Yes, he is a contradiction."

"Well, I like that."

"So do I," Ruth whispered.

Jess heard it.

"Ruth, I told you, I don't want to step on your toes. If there's something between you and Harry then I'll stay well away."

Silence.

"Ruth?"

"He asked me to marry him."

"Oh my god, why didn't you say. I'm sorry, Ruth, really. When, today?

"No. A few weeks ago."

"And you said no?"

"Yes. I said no."

"Why? God, I would have said yes and I've only known him for five minutes."

"It's complicated."

"Oh, excuses, Ruth. You love him, that's obvious."

Silence.

"Admit it."

"Yes."

"So, just how complicated can it be?"

"It just is."

"Look, if you still want him then you have to tell him and if you don't then stand back because otherwise it's not fair."

"Unfair on you?"

"No, Ruth, unfair on Harry. I get the feeling he has a lot to give and he just wants to give it and if he had a choice it would be to you that he would be giving."

"I know."

"So?"

"So, I'll tell him."

"What will you tell him?"

"Something."

"No, not something. Tell him not to call me because you love him. It's easy, Ruth."

"But it's not."

"Why?"

"Because."

"That's great reasoning. The safety of the nation is in good hands."

"I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"I don't know. Everything. How will we work together?"

"Like you always do."

"But how can I work if something happens to him? How will I cope?"

"Would you cope if it happened now?"

"I don't know. No."

"So, what's the difference?"

"It'll be harder."

"They're just degrees of hardness, Ruth and quite honestly they're just excuses. Look, have him or lose him, it's your choice. I won't be so uncertain. If he calls me, Ruth I will see him and I will want him."

The phone went dead.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry was on the roof.

He leant against the rail in the cold winter wind. Between his hands passed the post it note that Jess had left him. He was thinking of all that she had said. He was thinking of what Ruth had said up on that roof about being together and he was wishing, not for the first time, that it had been different.

He felt her approach, he didn't look round.

She stood beside him and they regarded the view. She glanced sideways and saw the note, folded and creased as his fingers absently minded played with it.

He didn't know what to say to her, so he said nothing.

She leant forward and stilled his fingers by removing the note from them and then she screwed it up and tossed it over the edge of the roof.

Harry looked at her.

"Ruth, what are you doing?"

He looked down below as the paper caught in the wind.

"Why did you do that?"

"So you can't call her."

"Ruth, I'm a spook, with all the resources of MI5 at my fingertips, I think I could manage to find a phone number."

"But I don't want you to."

He felt the adrenalin surge through him, he felt his chest rise and fall. He held his tongue and left the silence for her to fill.

She failed to fill it.

"Why, Ruth?" he whispered.

"She's too young for you," was all she could manage.

"So are you," he said with a sad smile and looked out once more at the city.

"I don't think so," she said quietly, "I like older men."

He turned back to her. Hope rising.

"You do?"

"Yes."

"You never mentioned that before."

"You never asked, Harry."

"Perhaps I just hoped."

They stood quietly.

"Am I unfair to you Harry?"

"Unfair?"

"Yes."

"In what way?"

"Do I stop you from having what you want?"

He smiled but with little mirth.

"You said 'no'." It was the only answer he needed to give.

She felt the reprimand.

"Do I stop you from moving on?"

Harry didn't want to move on. He stayed silent.

"Am I being unfair, Harry?"

"Yes, a little."

She looked at him, forcing her eyes to hold his.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be."

"Don't worry, Ruth, I'm big enough, old enough and ugly enough to look after myself."

She smiled at him and for a moment the cold wind seemed suddenly less cold.

"I don't think Jess thinks that you're any of things," she suggested.

"And what about you, Ruth?"

"You're old enough," she smiled.

He returned her smile and looked at her with gentle, troubled eyes.

"I don't want to move on, Ruth, at least not without you."

She turned away and he kicked himself for not keeping the thought just that, a thought.

"Jess, told me that I should have you or lose you," she whispered, it was almost lost in the wind.

"She has a point."

"Yes, she does."

"The having me part would be preferable for me," he said and tried to catch her eye so that she could see the smile that came with the hope he could not help but harbour.

"I know," she said.

"Harry, Ruth!" the shout came from the door behind them, "Surveillance says they're moving. All six of them!"

Harry looked at Ruth briefly before they turned to follow Dimitri. The conversation brought to an untimely end. Unresolved as ever. Their middle name, unresolved.


	5. Chapter 5

Lucas was out in pursuit of one of the cells. Dimitri and Beth in search of the other.

Harry, Tariq and Ruth remained, as usual, on the grid. They followed the chase.

They waited with baited breath as they had so often to hear the confirmation that alphas one, two and three were all safe, that the cells were no longer a danger, that the bombs were recovered and disarmed.

And when it was over they breathed a collective sigh of relief, leaning back in their chairs as Harry called the rest home.

And now he stood in his office and poured a large glass of single malt as he had done so many times in the past and speculated that he would do again in the future.

"Harry?"

He turned and hoped she wanted to finish the conversation.

"Jess is on the phone," she said, her face impassive.

He looked, surprised, and nodded and crossed to his desk.

"Hi," he said as Ruth slid closed the door.

"Hello, Harry."

"This is a surprise," he said, "is everything okay?"

"Yes fine, and I know I shouldn't be bothering you but I just wanted to know how things were going… you know, with you and Ruth."

He laughed, but with a hint of bitterness.

"That well?" she said.

"Nothing's ever easy, Jess."

"I'm beginning to see that. Did she speak to you?"

"Yes."

"And was there any progress?"

"We talked, she mentioned your name several times. I think you certainly got under her skin, which is an achievement in itself."

"I did try, Harry."

"And for that I shall always be grateful, even though I'm thanking someone I still barely know."

"Well, if ever you give up hope and fancy a slightly easier life, you know where to find me"

"That sounds like an offer, Jess."

"It is…..and just make sure Ruth hears about it, won't you, Harry?"

"I'll try."

"Goodbye."

"Bye Jess. And thank you."

* * *

"Ruth!"

Harry sat back down at his desk.

A hand appeared on the door unwilling to venture further, "Yes."

"Come in and shut the door."

She did but with seemingly little desire to do so.

"Sit down, Ruth."

She sat.

"I've just been talking to Jess."

"I know, I put her through."

"Yes. Yes, you did."

"How is she?" asked Ruth, little caring what the answer was.

"She's fine," he hesitated, "I don't know why but she seems…keen," he added.

Ruth nodded slowly.

They said nothing for a moment.

"Though it's nice to feel wanted," he said after an eternity.

"I'm sure it is," she said with a hint of something.

"But you must know that, Ruth?"

"Know what?"

"How it feels to be wanted," his eyes were piercing and fixed her, daring for her reply.

Her eyes met his for the briefest of moments and then fled.

She stood and stepped towards the door. He stood and steeped after her.

"Please, Ruth."

"I can't Harry."

"Have me, or lose me. Wasn't that what she said to you, Ruth?"

"She knows nothing. She doesn't know either of us."

"She knows us better than we know ourselves, I think."

"If she's such a bloody expert then consult her."

"Wait," he said as she turned away, his hand on her arm, his breath tightening in his throat.

"Ruth, stop denying it."

"Stop denying what?"

"This. Me. Us."

Her body was frozen beneath his touch.

"Please, Ruth. You know how I feel. Please."

Her face was fixed upon his shoulder. Her eyes flicked from his chest to his chin, daring neither higher, nor lower.

"I can't, Harry."

"Why?"

"It wouldn't work.'

"Why?"

She hesitated, she couldn't concentrate, he was merely inches from her and though they were not touching she could have lost all her senses and yet she would still have known how very close he was.

"What are you scared of?" he whispered.

"Feeling," she was scarcely audible.

"Feeling what?"

"Feeling too much."

"Ruth, how can you feel too much?"

"I feel so much I fear I won't be able to make a rational, credible decision wherever you're concerned."

"There's only one decision you need to make, Ruth."

She looked at him.

"Have me, or lose me. It's easy." He smiled, that smile.

"Everyone keeps telling me it's easy. Well, it might be easy for you but it feels a damn sight less so from where I'm standing."

"Okay, forget the decision and answer me one question. Whatever you answer I'll honour. That can't be more simple, can it?"

She nodded, though still unconvinced.

"Go on."

"How do you feel about me, Ruth?"

She stared at the floor and wished she was somewhere else.

"Ruth?"

She looked at his shoes instead.

"Is the answer that bad, Ruth?"

"I'm thinking," she said.

His heart sank.

"You are….I….I..feel…" she tailed off.

"Glad you thought about it," he said.

She looked at his chest.

"Tell me, please, whatever the answer."

She looked at his tie.

"How do you feel, Ruth? Does any part of you feel the same way as Jess?"

"Jess," she snapped, "what does she know? No, I don't feel anything near what she feels. She has known you for ten minutes, what does she know?

"She knows what she wants."

"Well, so do I."

"Which is what, Ruth, what?"

"You, Harry. For god's sake, you."

They stood and looked at each other and for once the office door did not slide open.


	6. Chapter 6

"You want me, Ruth?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"I just said so, didn't I?"

"You did. But did you mean it?"

"Harry!"

"Sorry. "

Silence.

"It's just that I've waited so long to hear something like that, that now I have, I'm struggling to believe it."

"Well, it's true. Now, I've got lots I need to be getting on with."

"Ruth, where are you going?"

"Back to my desk."

"Ruth, this isn't the time. You can't just walk away."

"Why not?"

"You know why not."

"I'm sorry, Harry, but we can't talk about this now."

"Ruth…"

The door shut.

* * *

Sorry, not teasing on purpose, but somehow just felt very Ruth to get there and step back!


	7. Chapter 7

Harry sat in his office and wondered what the hell had just happened.

What ever it was, he concluded, it was enough.

He had had enough.

Ruth sat at her desk, head bowed in concentration. She was studying a blank piece of paper.

Harry's door slid open.

He marched across the grid.

He grabbed a chair.

He sat.

"You don't know what you want, do you?" he hissed into her ear. He was very close.

"Harry, please," she whispered.

"You didn't want this conversation in my office, well, we can have it here instead."

She glanced around, fortunately no one was paying them any attention.

"Answer my question, Ruth."

"Yes, I do know."

"Then, what is it?"

"Not here."

"Yes here. Here and now."

She glanced up once more, there were only Beth and Lucas nearby, they were studying footage on Beth's screen, oblivious to the weight and significance of the conversation that was taking place.

"You said that there were thousands of times that if I'd asked you, you would have said yes… always."

She stared ahead, not acknowledging him.

"You're a liar, Ruth, and you can't even see it."

She turned to look at him.

"Tell me. Tell me one of them," the voice was quiet yet demanding.

She hesitated, her eyes seeking sanctuary anywhere away from the intensity of his.

Tariq chose the moment to cross the grid to ask something of Ruth, as he opened his mouth he saw the steely look from Harry and the dismissive flick of his head. Tariq simply turned on his heel and retreated.

"Tell me, Ruth."

"After you had been suspended. The night you returned to the grid, when there were only the two of us…..then."

"That's a lie."

"It's not."

"It's a lie, Ruth. Every time I get close you back away. If I'd asked you, you wouldn't have said yes, you would have run a mile. And that's the truth of it."

"After we had dinner."

"A lie."

"No, it's true," she hissed.

"No, you would like to think that. It makes you feel better to believe that. But it's a lie.

You blame me. I have bad timing, you say, but you, Ruth, you are simply afraid to live. You're afraid to live and be loved, you're afraid of being hurt. But you know what, I wouldn't hurt you, but I would love you. If only you weren't afraid."

He got up.

He walked away.

He entered the pods.

He didn't look back.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry opened his front door. It was late and he'd drunk a little too much.

He picked up the post from the mat and threw it onto the side table in the hallway. It could wait.

He headed for the decanter in the living room, the flickering streetlight through the window enough to guide him there.

He removed the stopper and began to pour.

"I'm not afraid."

The liquid spilt, the glass remained empty. He turned.

Ruth was standing in the shadows in the far corner of the room.

"I said, I'm not afraid."

"I heard you," he said and decided to try pouring himself a drink once more, "would you like one?"

"No, thank you."

A single, became a double, became a treble.

He raised it to his lips and felt it burn down his throat.

And then he replaced the glass and stared out of the window.

"It wasn't a lie, Harry."

"But it wasn't the truth."

He remained at the window. She remained in the shadows. Neither could find the ground to meet in the middle.

"I would have wanted to say yes, a thousand times over."

"But you wouldn't have."

Ruth sighed.

"No, I wouldn't."

"Why, Ruth?"

"Because I was afraid."

"I thought you said you weren't?" his tone was sad, resigned.

"No, I said I'm not."

He sighed, tired of this.

"Fine, whatever, Ruth, however you want to put it, it makes little difference."

"It makes all the difference, Harry."

"How?" he asked scornfully.

"I was afraid. I'm not afraid. The tense is the difference."

He turned from the window, his eyes seeking her out in the shadows. She didn't move, the darkness giving her shelter, absorbing her fear.

Her voice was but a whisper.

"Ask me now."

The ticking of the clock seemed magnified a thousand times. His breathing sounded deeper, longer, louder. Her heartbeat resounded in her ears. And all the traffic of the city seemed to melt into the night.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

"Please, Harry."

Tick. Tick. Tick.

"Marry me, Ruth?" he whispered into the darkness.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

The darkness failed to answer back.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

He closed his eyes and turned away to the window, his answer only the silence and the clock. He should have known.

Through the glass he could see the trees caught in the wind, the bare branches shivering in the breeze, the fallen leaves seeking escape from the ground.

He could see the streetlight flickering, unsure it would last another night.

He could see the ghost of a figure moving forward into the light.

The ghost of a hand reaching out. A hand hesitantly touching his back, drifting up to his shoulder. A figure that wanted him to turn from the reflection and face the reality.

But he could not.

And so the hand began to insist, to pull, to demand.

Until he did turn.

Until he did face his reality.

Until his reality smiled and paused and whispered.

"Yes, Harry. A thousand times, yes."

* * *

A/N And that is the end!


End file.
